In America

Blogging is like exercising. I find it liberating and enjoyable when I get in the habit of doing it regularly. But if I stop doing it for awhile, catching up seems kind of overwhelming. I'm not going to start working out again today. In fact, I think I'll go grab another warm roll from the kitchen. But I will work up the guts to write a little something and hopefully my fingers will burn a few holiday calories in the process. Who knows.

I made it home to the mother land. I was a bit nervous about my flight home for some reason. It might have had something to do with the dream I had two weeks ago in which my plane crashed over the ocean. It could have had something to do with the fact that Blair wasn't coming with me. At any rate, most of my fears were blown to smithereens as I plopped my bum in the comfortable and spacious first-class leather seat. Even in the moments during takeoff that I started to feel anxious about my aforementioned nightmare, I fantasized that all of the first class people would be given fail safe parachutes before the crash and we'd gracefully land in the ocean with our orange juice glasses still in tow.

I landed in Miami four hours later with the appetite of an African elephant. I walked up to the McDonald's counter and asked for a happy meal. Just as the friendly cashier was about to place my order, I told him to scratch the kids meal and give me a Big Mac combo meal. Pronto. He laughed at me and made some sarcastic comment about me having quite the appetite for a skinny chick. Smart alec. I tell you I nearly wept as I tasted that meat. I know all of you Fast Food Nation people are ready to have an aneurysm at my apparent love for fast food cows, but don't judge so quickly. Take a trip to the Caribbean, taste the meatloaf hamburger meat that you have to gargle with three cans of Coke to swallow, and then we'll talk about all that PETA hogwash. A second wave of emotion crashed when the McDonald's manager walked out to my table and with a friendly smile asked if everything tasted alright. I nearly kissed him. Exceptional customer service is a rarity in my beloved residence of Grenada.

If I had more time, I'd describe how on my flight to Dallas I accidentally fell asleep on the lap of a pilot sitting next to me. I can't be trusted when I'm slumbering. Then I'd tell you how I nearly died of frostbite after standing outside in Utah waiting for my dad to pick me up. And at last I'd tell you that it feels good to be home for the holidays. Tomorrow I'm back to work in the office for the first time in four months. I don't know if I still remember how to walk in heels. We'll see...

-me.

Besides Being Born

I just heard someone say

"Besides being born, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me!"

I can't stop laughing! Why would you feel the need to say, 'besides being born' ?

I'm going to start prefacing my sentences with that:

"Besides being born, this is the grossest thing that's ever happened to me."
"Besides being born, this is the hardest thing that's ever happened to me."
"Besides being born, this is the tightest spot I've ever been in."

Let's hear your ideas. Fill in the blank. Most clever entry receives my eternal admiration.

Besides being born, _____________________________.

Grateful

Our Thanksgiving festivities are going to be a bit delayed this year. In order to accommodate our husband's busy school schedules, we're waiting until Sunday to have our Thanksgiving Feast. So even though the turkey isn't roasting in the oven today and there are no pumpkin pies in sight, I'd like to show thanks.

I'm grateful to know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who sent me to earth with a purpose and a plan to help me become more like Him.


I'm grateful to be married to the love of my life who makes my life magical.


I'm grateful that God guided our decisions to move to this beautiful island. For a long time we felt like something was pulling us to Grenada even when other options were available, and I think we are starting to understand part of our purpose here.


I'm grateful to have a wonderful family full of my best friends.


I'm grateful for these wonderful seminary students who faithfully get up early in the morning to come to my class (nevermind the fact that I have to yank some of them out of bed - more on this topic later). I love their guts and I know they're going to grow up to be amazing individuals. They already are.


I'm grateful to be an American and for all that citizenship means. I'm grateful for the freedoms our forefathers fought to defend. I'm grateful for my ability to work hard and be rewarded for it. I'm grateful for my limitless access to knowledge. I'm grateful for the ability to achieve. I am proud to be an American.



May you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I can't wait to see some of you next week when I come home to Utah for the holidays!! Yippppeeee!

Love,

me.

Sparkly Vampires

I may have stumbled (and by stumbled I mean browsed purposely) upon a site today and watched a pirated version of New Moon. My potential posterity needs to stop reading here. Mama’s not a good example today, little chiggins. I plan on making up for it by watching it in the theater and (insert gasp here) purchasing the movie when it comes out.

And here are my thoughts in no particular order:

Bella - good job on not being such a stuttering Stanley in this film. Not an Academy Award Winning performance, but bearable to watch. Yay!

Edward, ugh – we’ll get back to this later

Bella’s Dad – I don’t even know your name because I didn’t get past the first book. But you my friend were the most convincing character in the whole story. Good job with the snarky sarcasm and believable semi-present dad gig.

Jacob – for fear of making my handsome husband jealous with my comments on your physique, I will deflect my thoughts from you.

Edward – I don’t mean to be such a bully, but seriously you are the worst. Can we vote you out of Twilight? We may be able to come to a treaty under the following conditions:

Bathe

Go over to Jacob’s house and have him cut off your nappy hair boof.

Throw all Revlon lipstick products in the garbage

Next throw all creepy white powder in the garbage

Practice ten times daily in front of the mirror facial expressions other than the infamous “I’m smelling something stinky and I might hurl all over you” face.

Next time you’re going to do a sparkly shirtless appearance in Rome, head on over to Jacob’s house first to do some crunches and shave

Try to act happy around the love of your life instead of constantly looking at her like you’re going to barf

Find some way to make my mother fall out of love with you. This is really the most important part of our treaty. You might need to be creative here.

And that’s it folks.

I give New Moon….6 out of 10 sparkly vampires. That’s a huge improvement over Twilight’s 3 out of 10.

Well done.

Sunset Cruise With Our Buds