Ups and Downs
It's funny how when you haven't written in a long time, it seems like your brain forgets how to do it. Writing has been a big part of my life up until this point - writing in journals, making up stories, recording trips and writing letters. I'm ashamed that the last few years of motherhood, which contain arguably my most important moments and learnings, have largely gone unrecorded. I could blame a million things, mostly just time and energy, but it really just boils down to making this a priority. I want to remember the stories of our lives. And I think part of really appreciating life is taking the time to contemplate and record what happens. Otherwise it slips through our fingers, leaving only barely recognizable smudges of memories.
So here I go again...
Trying to get back on the bandwagon of writing.
Sorry, posterity.
I'll try to get my crap together.
The last few months have been stressful for us. We're getting ready to leave Danville, Pennsylvania and moving on to the final chapter of our medical education journey. Blair will be starting his fellowship at the University of Utah in July and we'll be moving in with his parents for a year. It'll be difficult to leave this place - our first house and this small town where we've built cherished friendships and memories. It's going to be incredibly difficult to leave.
I'm still teaching ballet three times a week, which is challenging and really fun. I laugh when I think about how I ended up in this gig. I was really nervous to apply for the job and felt like a complete fraud since I haven't actually done ballet since I was probably 13 years old. But something compelled me to do it and I'm tremendously grateful that I did. My fellow instructors and the studio owner have been such great examples to me of doing the right thing and being honest, generous, and kind in business. These little children have taught me a lot about patience, love, and how to be silly and love expressing yourself through dance. I have truly loved every moment of this experience and will be so sad when it ends.
Maddy is growing and changing every day. My favorite moments with her are still at night time when I put her to bed. Today we went to the library and checked out one of my childhood favorites, "Bears In The Night". My mom always read this book in such an animated and hilarious way and it was so fun to share that with Maddy tonight for the first time. She couldn't stop giggling at it. We love to watch a Bible video clips on the LDS gospel library app every night after we're done with stories. Watching those videos about the Savior's life has truly been a tender experience for us. Maddy frequently asks why I have tears rolling down my cheeks as we finish watching the video, and it's such a privilege for me to quietly bear my testimony to my daughter of how much I love and believe in Jesus. She always gives me a big hug after and says, "I love Jesus too, Mommy."
This season of life with Maddy has not been without it's ups and downs. She recently mastered the art of calling us names when she gets frustrated or mad. This sparks in me a range of emotions from pure rage to extreme sadness. But I think I'm starting to figure out how to deal with this (I actually called Dr. Laura about it yesterday - which was a terrifying and hilarious experience by the way.) haha! Anyway, we definitely have our challenges. But again I'm so grateful for the perspective that the gospel brings. This morning I was upset with Maddy for walking in Henry's room and waking him up while I was trying to get him down for a nap. Hell hath no fury like a mother who is interrupted while trying to get an ornery one year old down for a nap. Needless to say, I was pretty upset with her and overreacted. I immediately felt remorse for being such a dragon of a mama and quietly asked Heavenly Father for forgiveness. I went downstairs and scooped her up in my arms and apologized for losing my temper. I explained to her that I was frustrated and instead of getting angry I should have taken a deep breath, counted to four, and then told her how I was feeling. She said she forgave me and said she was trying to work on taking her deep breaths when she's frustrated too :) I am deeply grateful for repentance in parenting.
Henry is such a happy and chunky baby. He instantly makes me smile when he's in the room. He's pretty self sufficient and content to play by himself, but I love that while he's playing he'll periodically crawl over to where I am, give me a giant hug with both arms around my neck, giggle, and then crawl back to whatever he was doing beforehand. He just has such a tender and happy little heart. I love him so much and am so grateful he finally made it here :)
So here I go again...
Trying to get back on the bandwagon of writing.
Sorry, posterity.
I'll try to get my crap together.
The last few months have been stressful for us. We're getting ready to leave Danville, Pennsylvania and moving on to the final chapter of our medical education journey. Blair will be starting his fellowship at the University of Utah in July and we'll be moving in with his parents for a year. It'll be difficult to leave this place - our first house and this small town where we've built cherished friendships and memories. It's going to be incredibly difficult to leave.
I'm still teaching ballet three times a week, which is challenging and really fun. I laugh when I think about how I ended up in this gig. I was really nervous to apply for the job and felt like a complete fraud since I haven't actually done ballet since I was probably 13 years old. But something compelled me to do it and I'm tremendously grateful that I did. My fellow instructors and the studio owner have been such great examples to me of doing the right thing and being honest, generous, and kind in business. These little children have taught me a lot about patience, love, and how to be silly and love expressing yourself through dance. I have truly loved every moment of this experience and will be so sad when it ends.
Maddy is growing and changing every day. My favorite moments with her are still at night time when I put her to bed. Today we went to the library and checked out one of my childhood favorites, "Bears In The Night". My mom always read this book in such an animated and hilarious way and it was so fun to share that with Maddy tonight for the first time. She couldn't stop giggling at it. We love to watch a Bible video clips on the LDS gospel library app every night after we're done with stories. Watching those videos about the Savior's life has truly been a tender experience for us. Maddy frequently asks why I have tears rolling down my cheeks as we finish watching the video, and it's such a privilege for me to quietly bear my testimony to my daughter of how much I love and believe in Jesus. She always gives me a big hug after and says, "I love Jesus too, Mommy."
This season of life with Maddy has not been without it's ups and downs. She recently mastered the art of calling us names when she gets frustrated or mad. This sparks in me a range of emotions from pure rage to extreme sadness. But I think I'm starting to figure out how to deal with this (I actually called Dr. Laura about it yesterday - which was a terrifying and hilarious experience by the way.) haha! Anyway, we definitely have our challenges. But again I'm so grateful for the perspective that the gospel brings. This morning I was upset with Maddy for walking in Henry's room and waking him up while I was trying to get him down for a nap. Hell hath no fury like a mother who is interrupted while trying to get an ornery one year old down for a nap. Needless to say, I was pretty upset with her and overreacted. I immediately felt remorse for being such a dragon of a mama and quietly asked Heavenly Father for forgiveness. I went downstairs and scooped her up in my arms and apologized for losing my temper. I explained to her that I was frustrated and instead of getting angry I should have taken a deep breath, counted to four, and then told her how I was feeling. She said she forgave me and said she was trying to work on taking her deep breaths when she's frustrated too :) I am deeply grateful for repentance in parenting.
Henry is such a happy and chunky baby. He instantly makes me smile when he's in the room. He's pretty self sufficient and content to play by himself, but I love that while he's playing he'll periodically crawl over to where I am, give me a giant hug with both arms around my neck, giggle, and then crawl back to whatever he was doing beforehand. He just has such a tender and happy little heart. I love him so much and am so grateful he finally made it here :)
Comments