Baby Boy

We have a mere 15 days before our baby boy makes his earthly debut. I feel the need to somehow document my feelings, but I'm struggling to find the words. As I type, I'm watching him move around inside me making my stomach stretch and transform in hilarious ways. I can't believe there's a human inside me! The miracle of how life is created is truly just that...it's a miracle. And it's particularly a miracle for us, seemingly infertile folks to suddenly become pregnant without any intervention after so many years of trying. I've pondered a lot lately the loss of our little boy that we experienced four years ago. It's amazing the clarity and peace that time and the Spirit bring to our lives. I now see that without a doubt Maddy needed to come to our family first. I know that her birth mom, April, needed to have the experience of carrying her and following that selfless and God-inspired decision to place her with our family. That decision was life changing in the sweetest way for her. And it was of course life-changing for us! I can't imagine our life without her. She is the absolute light of our lives.

I don't know all of the details of how these things work, but I can't help but feel that this little boy has now returned and is waiting to join our family with his big sister. We've had a few tender moments with Maddy where she'll suddenly hug my stomach and say, "I want to see my baby brother." I know they must know each other well and I'm so excited to see them reunited and sharing this adventure of life together. I am extremely humbled by this gift. Although pregnancy has definitely brought some physical challenges (vomiting, fatigue, etc.), it has been such a joyful experience. I am honored to be a part of this process and forever grateful that a loving Heavenly Father is letting me do it. I can't wait to see you, baby boy. We love you already.

-mom