All Line Cutters Will Be Shot

The thing is...

I have absolutely no patience with line cutters. It's so barbaric, isn't it? People who just assume that they don't have to wait in line; that they're somehow above the rest of us oafs standing like cattle all in a row. My worst qualities come out when I encounter these people. It's sad, but I don't feel all that bad about it.

So there we were standing in the middle of Vatican City, waiting in a slow-moving line to get into St. Peter's Basilica. The temperature was scorching and there was virtually no shade to keep us from melting into the concrete. We'd been in line for about an hour and a half when we got up to the entrance gate. Right as we were about to cross the precipice, a Frenchman in a plaid beret and a tennis sweater draped across his shoulders stepped in front of us. He and his wife and daughter just slid right in front of us with absolutely no shame. They smirked and continued licking their gelatto, unconvincingly pretending like they were oblivious to the mile-long line behind them. I braced myself to tell them to get to the back of the line, when Blair piped up. He jokingly said something to the man like, "Oh yeah that's ok, man. You can go ahead of us. I hope I can teach my kids how to cut in line someday too." I rolled my eyes at Blair's approach. The man either didn't speak English or the sarcasm clearly wasn't coming across. They stayed in line and I breathed fire dragon fury down their backs the rest of the way. I kept thinking to myself that if I would have handled the situation, I would have told tweetle dee to take his kid, his wife, and his preppy outfit to the back of the friggin line!

The next day we were in the EasyJet line, waiting to catch our flight to Spain. EasyJet doesn't have seat assignments so people stand in line at the gate in order to get the best seats. We'd been standing in line for about 30 minutes when the lady at the gate announced that our flight would now start boarding. As she clicked off of the intercom, I saw five people barge in front of us in line. And that's when I completely lost my mind...

I tapped one of the girls on the shoulder and told her that we'd been standing in line for 30 minutes, so she and her little friends could pick up their luggage and head to the back of the line with the rest of civilized society. She didn't even have a chance to rebuttal my shrieks before my husband whispered in my ear that those people had in fact been in line the whole time. I apparently just hadn't noticed them. The girl gave me a nasty look and turned around to board the plane. I wanted Blair to fold my body into our carry-on, zip it up, and hide me from facing this horribly embarrassing situation. For the rest of the plane-ride, I could hear the five girls talking about me and laughing at me. That was a shameful and unbearably long flight.

But still....I think all line cutters should be shot.