Mamas
Last week I talked on the phone with my mom for two and a half hours. That's a record for us. My mom's one of those elusive creatures that drops her bait of wisdom, goodness, and love in front of you with full knowledge of your famine. She lets you bite the hook, but she decides when to reel you in. You crave her attention, but she'll leave you submerged and hooked to the bate until she decides to bring you to her surface. Your time with her is a colorful blend of timeless insight, hilarious antics, and peaceful love. She almost always leaves you better than she found you. But you're constantly aware that you are on her time-line, her world, her bated line. Your moments with her are precious. She's not one of those mothers who hovers and calls every hour to see what you're making for dinner.
Her distance used to offend me. I used to envy those other girls who had hovercraft mothers. I thought those mothers must love their daughters more.
As the years have gone by, my mother's offense has morphed before my eyes into the sweetness that it always was. I've realized that although part of her "distance" is due to her personality, the majority is due to her illness. You may not know this but my mother is a walking can of poison. Over a decade ago, my mother donated one of her kidneys to her father who was then dying of kidney disease. His transplant went well and he transitioned into a better life. Unfortunately, a year later my mom started to get sick. We discovered that my mother's only remaining kidney had failed. She kept her illness a secret from her father and covertly began her dialysis treatment three days a week for four hours at a time. In her time of sickness and pain, I am amazed that her biggest concern was sparing the tender feelings of her own father. She couldn't bear the thought of him feeling guilty or sad for her plight.
So for the past 10+ years she has been walking around with poison running through her blood - waste that affects her muscles, her bones, her emotions, her every fiber. Dialysis treatments often leave her exhausted and sick. The delicate balance of chemicals that her medicines try to monitor often goes awry and leaves her in pain.
So when I look at her sweet face in front of me on Skype, my thoughts are learning to turn from selfishness to a sense of gratitude for my beautiful mother. I no longer feel annoyed by what others have. I realize that she is the most perfect mother for me.
I am truly in awe of my Maker for the incredible vessel He allowed to deliver me into this world. As I contemplate expanding our family in the next several years, my thoughts are continually turned to my mother's example. I'm grateful for the way she squeezes me tight and won't let go of hugging me for a long time. I'm grateful for the image that I have of her praying on her knees for the specific needs of her six children. I'm grateful for her example of perseverance through tough times in marriage. I'm grateful for her quirks that she lets us make fun of. I'm grateful that she taught me to love learning and reading from a young age. I'm grateful that she tells me the truth instead of what I want to hear. I'm grateful for my mother.
It's not Mother's Day, my mom's birthday, or anything else. But today my mama is on my mind.
May you love yours wherever she is. May you forgive her for everything she's not and adore her for everything she is. May you cherish her memories if she has left for eternal journeys, and have believing hope that God will join all loving mamas with their babies once again.
I know He will.
Her distance used to offend me. I used to envy those other girls who had hovercraft mothers. I thought those mothers must love their daughters more.
As the years have gone by, my mother's offense has morphed before my eyes into the sweetness that it always was. I've realized that although part of her "distance" is due to her personality, the majority is due to her illness. You may not know this but my mother is a walking can of poison. Over a decade ago, my mother donated one of her kidneys to her father who was then dying of kidney disease. His transplant went well and he transitioned into a better life. Unfortunately, a year later my mom started to get sick. We discovered that my mother's only remaining kidney had failed. She kept her illness a secret from her father and covertly began her dialysis treatment three days a week for four hours at a time. In her time of sickness and pain, I am amazed that her biggest concern was sparing the tender feelings of her own father. She couldn't bear the thought of him feeling guilty or sad for her plight.
So for the past 10+ years she has been walking around with poison running through her blood - waste that affects her muscles, her bones, her emotions, her every fiber. Dialysis treatments often leave her exhausted and sick. The delicate balance of chemicals that her medicines try to monitor often goes awry and leaves her in pain.
So when I look at her sweet face in front of me on Skype, my thoughts are learning to turn from selfishness to a sense of gratitude for my beautiful mother. I no longer feel annoyed by what others have. I realize that she is the most perfect mother for me.
I am truly in awe of my Maker for the incredible vessel He allowed to deliver me into this world. As I contemplate expanding our family in the next several years, my thoughts are continually turned to my mother's example. I'm grateful for the way she squeezes me tight and won't let go of hugging me for a long time. I'm grateful for the image that I have of her praying on her knees for the specific needs of her six children. I'm grateful for her example of perseverance through tough times in marriage. I'm grateful for her quirks that she lets us make fun of. I'm grateful that she taught me to love learning and reading from a young age. I'm grateful that she tells me the truth instead of what I want to hear. I'm grateful for my mother.
It's not Mother's Day, my mom's birthday, or anything else. But today my mama is on my mind.
May you love yours wherever she is. May you forgive her for everything she's not and adore her for everything she is. May you cherish her memories if she has left for eternal journeys, and have believing hope that God will join all loving mamas with their babies once again.
I know He will.
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