Leave The Party Planning To Me

Remember when you were young and you thought your mom was a crazy person? When your parents were having people over for dinner or preparing food for a family reunion and your mom turned into momzilla? For some reason, two hours before the event the grout between the tiles had to be scrubbed, the base of the toilet which no one ever bothered cleaning had to be spotless, and the multi-colored carpeted stairs had to be vacuumed. Her crazy hormones surged like clock-work on the eve of any major get together at your house. Mom somehow turned into a frantic queen bee, buzzing around the house and stinging any person that didn't obey directions fast enough. You rolled your eyes as you vacuumed the crusty stairs and whispered to yourself, "I am NEVER going to be that nuts."

And then you turned 26.

And you realized that while you love having people over for dinner and parties, sometimes these little events can make you a little nutty.

A few weeks ago Blair said to me on a Friday night, let's have so and so over for a BBQ on Saturday. Ok I said. Sounds like fun. A little BBQ with two other couples. No biggie.
But then we went to an S.O. function on Saturday afternoon and Blair unbeknownst to me proceeded to invite anything with a pulse to our house for the BBQ. Two hours before the BBQ, Blair informed me that instead of four people we were now having eighteen people over for dinner...

And that's when I became my mother.

I started flying around the house like a psych-ward patient, ripping open the cupboards, and screeching that we didn't have nearly enough food to feed all of these people. I started making beds, cleaning toilets, and sweeping the floors. Somewhere in the middle I had an emotional breakdown and told Blair that inviting fourteen extra people without my knowing was against the marital rules of engagement.

What Blair did next wasn't cute at the time...

In fact it infuriated me...

But now it makes me laugh.

He opened the cupboard, pulled out four packs of Ramen Noodles, and said "It's ok. We'll just cook up some of these."

And that's when I almost killed him.

In the end, we had more than enough food. All of the wives showed up having made their own side dishes, and we made a quick run to the store. Blair made me laugh about the situation thirty minutes before everyone arrived and I apologized for being such a ninny. The funniest part was when my friend showed up with instant mashed potatoes and apologized for her lack of fanciness. She then proceeded to tell me that her husband failed to inform her about the BBQ until an hour beforehand and HE suggested that they bring ramen noodles as a side dish. haha!

I realized that this is the reason I got married. Because I need someone to keep me grounded. I need someone to help me realize that Martha Stewart isn't coming for dinner, and no one really cares if we eat gourmet lasagna or ramen noodles for dinner. I'm grateful that he hugs me and makes me laugh. I'm grateful that he's patient with my queen bee orders and runs to the store for those last-minute items.

I love you, Blair.

But in the future, just leave the party planning up to me. Thanks.

Comments

Zane and Lexi said…
oh this sounds a little too familiar. zane is the king of inviting everyone and their dog to our house but somehow forgetting to tell me. But I love him cause I realize now he doesn't tell me because I DO turn into my mother as well :)
wish we were there to come to your party :(
Andrea said…
This post made me laugh. My parents are helping us move in a hefty bookcase tomorrow and I've already had many thoughts like, "you better clean this up before Mom comes over and sees that you don't keep your house clean." Also- I had a bridal shower a few months ago and cleaned all the baseboards. Good thing cause I'm sure so many people noticed...
Unknown said…
Yeah, this one hits a little close to home. I HATE when David invites people over and doesn't tell me about it until, oh, five minutes before they arrive. He just forgets (or so he says...).Happens way more often than I would like and I'm still not very good about handling it graciously. One of these days we're going to have to strike a balance so I don't go all kinds of crazy.
Ali Snow said…
Haha - that's so funny. Jonathan knows better than to do that me (at least I think he does) but I tell you, the only time our toilets gets cleaned and the floors get mopped is when we're having people over...so I'm grateful people come over. We should probably have people over more often though.

And that's SO a boy to suggest Ramen noodles when entertaining.
anne said…
Ya gotta love the male mentality of parties. They don't care at all. I am more like you and have to everything perfect and I'll admit I turn into a crazy person too. :)
Reece said…
this post was hilarious! Rex and I were both cracking up over it!
I think we may need to get rid of the ramen noodles in our cupboards....then Blair and Thomas won't make unexpected plans because we actually won't have anything to eat at that point.
anything wit a pulse. hilarious.
Jazzy said…
I know myself well enough to know the second Phil wants to invite people over, I start sweating, solely because I know that two-hour-before-the-event irrational rampage is coming. Plus, I'm not a good cook, so that stresses me out too. In fact, it's a wonder to me he continually insists on inviting people over...

In the end I'm always glad we did...I suppose.
Brandon said…
That is most DEFINITELY a Blair thing to do. Gotta love'im. It is also a guy thing. I do the same thing ALL....THE...TIME. Be patient with us ladies. We don't do it to frustrate you.
Melissa said…
I remember the first time Travis pulled that little number. I had just gotten home from work and could hear the phone ringing on the other side of the door as I fiddled with the key to our apartment. I waddled my 8 month pregnant self over to the phone as fast as my swollen feet would carry me. It was Travis, of course, calling to let me know he had invited the missionaries over for dinner and they would be there in about 10 minutes! Today I handle these little situations differently, but that night I told Travis that I hadn't received my invitation and wouldn't be able to make it. I think they had Raman Noodles. :? I was only twenty then... I have since matured into the pre-party momzilla you so affectionately spoke of. ;)
CHELSEY said…
OMGosh.. This is true marriage in action. LOL

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