Pet Grizzly

After work tonight I made my way up to Huntsman to have dinner with the hubbie. He packed up the Mexican casserole I made yesterday into Tupperware and threw in a side of cheese and apples. Why do cheese and apples taste so good together? I think it tastes so delectable because the apple makes me feel good about the amount of cholesterol in the cheese. The apples cancels the bad out. Isn't that how it works? You can eat a pound of chocolate as long as you eat a few carrots? Take that Jenny Craig.

After my romantic Mexican dinner with my scrub-clad man, I rushed home to take Milo out for a walk. I rushed in the door and scrambled to get his leash. I only had a matter of seconds because typically if I wait too long, Milo will pee on my feet as we walk out the door. No joke. This darn creature has done it before. As we rushed out the door, I decided to take the garage door opener instead of taking the time to lock up the house with a key. We raced out the door, I hit the black button on the door opener, and we took off jogging down the street. Phew. No urine on the shoes today!

Our jog was refreshing, calm, and invigorating. Until we got to the dreaded house on the corner that is. I don't know who lives in this house on the corner, but every damn swear word in the book creeps to the insides of my lips every time we tip-toe past their house. You see, these crazies who live on the corner own a pit bull. A pit bull! I don't understand why normal human beings own pit bulls. It's like walking around town with a grizzly bear on a leash!

Well, the house on the corner crazies let their pit bull run around the yard with a collar that supposedly shocks him when he gets to the edge of the grass. Wow. We all feel a lot safer now that all that stands between my face and your pet grizzly is a little collar that pokes him when he gets ready to eat me. Thank you. I appreciate you giving your pet a little tickle on the neck before he feasts on my head.

So as soon as we started tip-toeing past The Crazie's House, we heard a sudden trot coming toward us and a subsequent roar, I mean bark. Needless to say me and the little weenie dog both peed a little and took off on a dead sprint back home away from the pit bull. By the time we got to the driveway, I was winded and laughing hysterically from the adrenaline rush. I swear I saw a little tear in Milo's eyes as he looked up at me wondering if we were safe. "We're home, Milo" I said, "We're safe."

Just then I reached into my sweatshirt pocket to get the garage door opener and all I found was a ball of lint. "Oh no! It flew out of my pocket and the grizzly ate it!", I thought. There was no way I was going back to the house on the corner to retrieve the opener. No sir eee. But I was locked out! Again! I couldn't bear the embarrassment of calling the locksmith again and I certainly couldn't wait outside for three hours until Blair got home. I had to be brave. I had to risk losing my face. Oh man, I like my face though. I said a little prayer and asked Heavenly Father to forgive me for the swear words I said in my head walking past The Crazie's House and set out down the street.

Luckily we didn't get far before I saw the little black wonder sitting on the freshly cut grass. We weren't even near the pit bull! Yay!! Another day with my face! All in all, a pretty hilarious day. I avoided getting peed on but eventually peed my pants anyway from fear. I still hate pit bulls. I still think everyone in the house on the corner needs therapy. But I'll try not to think bad thoughts when I walk past their house anymore. I guess God probably answers their prayers too.

Night night, Milo.