Peeing on Sticks

Some past times should be left in the past.
Peeing on a stick for one.
I used to love peeing on sticks.
Really. Even when I knew there was virtually no chance that the biological magic 8 ball was going to show two lines. It didn't matter. I wasn't trying to get pregnant. Somehow the mindless game of peeing on something and watching a line appear was very entertaining to me. Blair thinks I'm a weirdee, but he lets me buy a few dollar store tests every now and again for kicks. We're trying to cut back though. Dave Ramsey says "ya gotta stick to the budget." And let's be honest, ten tests in one week is a tad superfluous. I kid not. Ten.

But tonight was the first time I haven't been entertained by the magic lines - or lack thereof. This time I actually felt sad. What?! I thought we were just playing house! I'm not supposed to be sad about this. I don't want to be a sad non baby bearing woman. I want to be strong, career-minded, and ready and willing to have children when the fates align and decide to send the stork to our door. Yes, yes. Strong woman. Don't be sad.

But I am sad tonight, dang it. I feel like a boy. I love peeing on sticks AND there's no evidence that I'm actually a woman. Can't they reaffirm that on the pregnancy tests somehow? Line indicating that you're not gestating and another heart shape or something that says, "Don't worry honey - you'll have 9 kids someday." Blah.

Goodbye past time of peeing on plastic sticks.

Goodnight stupid sad feelings.

Goodnight.

Comments

mccall said…
BLEH! Stupid sticks! Maybe your career-self should INVENT sticks that tell you how many kids you will have someday! I would be your best customer! Hang in there, my dear. I LOVE YOU!!!!
Ashley said…
It'll happen! When your not expecting it, it will happen!
:-( I don't like when you're sad-it makes my heart ache!!! It will happen soon! LOVE YOU!!
Marce said…
oh ash, you are so adorable. i love love loved this post....

the yucky gross truth, i had several disappointing pee sticks before the over-joyous happy pee stick came...and it made me appreciate that one SO MUCH MORE. the Lord knows you, and knows exactly when he should send you the happy one...

hang in there beautiful woman!
Rachel said…
I agree, the more one line pee sticks you have, the better the two-liners are. But even though you were sad there was only one line, when you finally see that second line appear you will still freak out. Completely freak out. I hope your future holds lots more peeing on sticks and lots more pink lines.
CHELSEY said…
Ah shoot. So sorry Ash. I bet you could have been sad before...but maybe you were in denial that you were sad. Hmmm that doesn't make much sense. Anyway good luck. It'll happen, but it's ok to be sad for now. Y'all are gonna be the cutest parents. I couldn't believe how cute Blair was with Soph & my oth kids @ our house....I wish you happy 2 lines soon;)
Laurie said…
AHHHHHHHHHHHH, that is so frustrating! I'm so sorry.

Hey, I have an idea, we can share mine for a while if you want. Like you can send us money and we can send you monthly postcards of the kids you are supporting! Along with the postcards we can include some dirty diapers that you can lay around the house so that you can have the official baby aroma.

Just kidding of course, but live it up while it's just he two of you. Both phases of life are great.
Kerry said…
Oh I just love this post! SO well written, sweet Ashley! I'm so sorry you haven't seen 2 lines yet, but they will come in the perfect time! Pee away!
Maren said…
I agree they are stupid sticks! I go for the ones that say pregnant or not pregnant... I always have a hard time telling if there are two lines or not. Anyway, don't get down. It will happen when it's supposed to happen. Hang in there and I love you!!!
Mike and Kim said…
I hate those sticks!!! Since I work at an OB-GYN office I just opt to get my blood drawn every time. It's much more accurate, but you always get the disappointing, "sorry kim, not this month." But, I just keep my head up, keep trying and have faith in the Lord's plan for our family someday. You guys hang in there and I say, if you find joy in peeing on sticks, then you need to splurge every once and awhile and buy one just for kicks :) !
Ashley said…
Laurie - I'm pretty sure that's what inner city high schools do to keep teenagers from getting knocked up. lol. Not sure it would be the best baby substitute for me.
Kalli Ko said…
i would so invest in that kind of pregnancy test. like you get a negative and a strip prints out that says "don't worry! you're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darnit people like you! oh and you'll get pregnant in 4 months so don't freak out".

it would be a hit i tell you

hang in there kid, i can attest that things that take time are worth investing in.

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